Self Esteem

A healthy level of self-confidence allows you to handle life’s setbacks and contributes to an overall positive outlook. However, low self-confidence can hold you back and even diminish the quality of your relationships.

If you find yourself:

Avoiding social encounters or a chance to meet someone new, because you can’t imagine that other people might be interested in getting to know you.
Working a job, you’re not satisfied with, because you can’t bring yourself to look for anything else as you don’t think you’re good enough for anything else.
Comparing yourself to others.
Experiencing intense bouts of shame.
Engaging in the same relationship patterns, where you’re not being treated well because you believe that’s all you deserve.

You’re probably not surprised to learn that you might have low-self-esteem. Low self-esteem is more than just thinking less of ourselves than our friends and family may think we should. Often, holding ourselves in low regard comes from a negative self-image.

The definition of our self-image is our own conception of our abilities, personality, potential, and appearance. In other words, it’s our most deeply-held beliefs about ourselves, what we’re capable of, and what we deserve. If our self-image is negative, it has a widespread effect on how we operate in the world.

Improving self-esteem and building self-confidence is often a process that takes time. The first step in improving self-esteem is making the unconscious conscious: naming the processes underlying our low self-esteem. The foundation for some people’s self-image is laid in childhood, and the inner voice that they still hear in their heads to this day – maybe the voice that tells them they’re not good enough or don’t deserve very much – is an echo of an adult’s voice who was close to them when they were little. For others, a negative self-image comes from cultural conditioning: representations in the media of what does and doesn’t make someone successful, attractive, or otherwise deserving of love.

At Atan Therapy, we work with you to determine the underlying causes of your low self-esteem, and help identify what your inner voice is telling you. With the support of a therapist, you can then be more intentional about how you talk to yourself, and make choices that will help you develop healthy self-esteem. We can help you learn to set better boundaries for yourself in order to protect yourself and your peace.